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Sunday 16 July 2017

WWE to Sell Fidget Spinners, also Yo-Yos, Pogs

Always at the cutting edge of the cultural zeitgeist, the WWE has announced plans to sell company branded fidget spinners. The small toys that become remarkably popular for reasons that remain unclear to anyone over the age of twelve, but, as with all fads, has started to die off.

Undeterred at the liklihood that the trend has peaked, the WWE has put in an order for six million spinner devices with Xhanghou Manufacturing of Beijing, China.  The company branded spinners will retail for $15.99 (versus the $2 or $3 for non-branded models) and the cheap Roman Reigns or John Cena sticker won't start to peel off for at least four days.

Coming (and going) soon
The move into retailing fidget spinners forms the spearhead of a campaign to sell increasing amounts of cheap plastic shit like yo-you's and pogs, to gullible consumers the world over.  Said company chairman Vince McMahon

"If this goes well, I thought we could branch out into selling branded mini-disc players, but Stephanie told me that nobody uses physical media any more so instead we are going all in with Superstar themed Zune cases. It's gonna make us millions!"

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