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Thursday 20 July 2017

Adolsescent WWE Fans More Excited for Leaked Pics Than Battleground

It has been revealed that the WWE has warned its stars that more leaks of embarrassing pictures are likely to hit in the internet soon, which led to an urgent crisis meeting between management and staff.

There were several drills educating the the talent on how to avoid getting caught by not accepting gifts of cellphones or usb sticks, how to spot an internet phishing scam and most of all, they stressed the need to avoid taking naked pictures of yourself at every opportunity.

"Really, that was the most important lesson that we wanted to get across" said HR advisor Simon Johnson "all the rest is good advice, but if the wrestlers can just resist the temptation to take a photo of their erect schlong and Snapchat it to a ring-rat, they might just avoid any scandal. Oh christ, that was my phone, Rollins has just sent me a weiner shot. hey Seth, wrong number dumbass!"

But it is not just performers who are at risk of having their most intimate moments revealed to the public, senior management have expressed concern that some of their indiscretions may end up hurting the company stock price.  Said one WWE Chairman anonymously "Things were much easier in the old days, you could lock the Polaroids up in a safe and only take them out for jacking or blackmailing purposes" He continued "but now, some pimply Leningrad teenager with a laptop can hack my phone and show the world  what me, Patterson, Brisco and the USC mens volleyball team got up to after Summerslam 2014.  That said, it was crazy night and the pics came out pretty blured so you can't even that it's me in the photos - there are a lot of hairly limbs intertwined and that could be anyone's asshole with a bunch of flowers sticking out of it"

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