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Thursday, 28 September 2017

WWE to Book Reigns Against More Legends

In what many hope is a final attempt to get him over, the WWE are planning to continue Roman Reigns incredible win streak over legends, because everything else has clearly failed.

Following his clean pin of the Undertaker at flagship show, Wrestlemania and his win over John Cena at September filler show No Mercy, the promotion figures that beating legends may just be the key to finally making fans care. The only problem is the company does not have any legends left on the roster, so they are doing what they do best - recycling shit from their past.  Unfortunately, The Rock is no longer prepared to demean himself by wrestling and Hulk Hogan is more toxic than Blinky the Three Eyed Fish. As a result, they are digging even further into their history, with digging being the operative word.

Imagine how much
better he will be now?
At TLC, the company has persuaded former WWE champion Pedro Morales to come out of retirement, followed by arguably the biggest legend of the 70's - Bruno Sammartino - laying down for the superman punch and possibly suffering a broken neck (because that worked before).  If that doesn't work, they are going to bring out the big guns - the Royal Rumble opponent will be a handicap match against the still warm corpse of Roddy Piper and the hopefully not too putrified remains of the 'Macho Man' Randy Savage.  The plans for the next Wrestlemania remains for Roman to beat Brock Lesnar, however, if he not sufficiently popular by then, he will be taking on the Ultimate Warrior in the main event.  Thankfully, the recent demise of Warrior has not had a significant impact on his workrate so the match won't suffer.

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