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Thursday 25 May 2017

Billy Corgan Buys NWA, Magic Beans

Fresh of failing to mediate the laughable Reba Hardy / Impact feud, former Smashing Pumpkins frontman has delved further into the world of wrestling by purchasing the NWA.

"I can can confirm that I now own 97% of the NWA, and on the way to the press conference today, I also got a great deal on this bag of magic beans! All it cost me was the publishing rights to my entire back catalog, amazing"

Pictured: The face of a man who
makes perfectly rationale decisions
Industry analysts have been left agog at the news, mostly because nobody knew the NWA still existed.

The 'official' story is that the NWA dates back over 100 years before being symbolically killed by Shane Douglas on an ECW PPV, before being briefly revived in some tiny north eastern promotions before quietly fading into the night with nary a whimper, otherwise known as TNA.

"Today we right a new chapter in the history of this great organisation" said Corgan, "We will revive the great days of the NWA - the days of legendary champions like Thesz, Flair, race, and erm Jax...Dane? Is that even a thing?"

Former owner Bruce Tharpe released a statement on his Facebook page "Haaahahahahahah!!!"

The NWA has a deep tape library that is highly valued by fans, however, it does not form part of the sale.  In unrelated news, Corgans history of decision making includes entering a relationship with celebrity psycho Courtney Love on several occasions.

The final sale price and efficacy of the magic beans have yet to be released.

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