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Monday 16 January 2017

Largest Faction Ever Created Is Formed in WWE

A new faction has formed in the WWE that eclipses even the heavily diluted 1998 NWO in terms of membership, just ahead of the company's number two pay per view event.

Consisting of everybody who is entering the Royal Rumble that isn’t John Cena, Roman Reigns, Goldberg, Brock Lesnar or the Undertaker, ‘Cannon Fodder’ as they have named themselves have announced an open membership policy to anybody whose participation in the match will be limited to killing time before being thrown out to make bigger stars look good.

The group apparently considered several monikers, including ‘Lambs to the Slaughter’, ‘Romans Bitches’ and ‘Dean Ambrose and his Jobtastic Losers’ – the latter in honor of the man who founded the group after realising that his time in the spotlight passed quicker than ex-lax through a goose - before settling on 'Cannon Fodder'.

With the potential for membership of up to twenty five wrestlers, no group, faction or alliance has ever come close to this level of membership, but nobody is under any illusion that there is any strength in numbers. “We’re screwed” said comedy acrobat Kofi Kingston, “Sure, I get a flashy spot every year but most of us will be lucky to even last five minutes before having to throw ourselves out after that f’n stupid Superman punch”

Other notably large groups in wrestling history include:
Dangerous Alliance (WCW, 1991/2)  - a retirement home masquerading as a faction. Every one of the six members had a bald spot, including Steve Austin and Madusa

New World Order (WCW 1998) – so large they had to split into two sub-groups to make it easier for fans to not give a shit about them.

The Four Horsemen (NWA / WCW early 80's until company put to sleep - taking every iteration of the group into account, 17 wrestlers can claim to be a former Horsemen, not including Paul Roma, because nobody classes him as a wrestler.

The Natural Disasters (WWF, 1992) - not big in terms of numbers, but in total mass, they outstrip the above by a ratio of  2:1

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