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Tuesday 10 April 2018

Braun Strowman Charged with Child Endagerment

In what seemed like an amusing novelty idea at the time, a superstar picks a random fan from the crowd to join him in the ring to defend the tag titles, has turned sinister for bison-in-human-form Braun Strowman as he was arrested at the Louis Armstrong Airport in New Orleans for wilfull child endagerment.

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Pictured: Strowman - the modern day Moriarty
After being left with no viable singles opponent at the biggest show of the year, WWE creative lived up to their title for the first time in a while by coming up with the innovative plan of having him pick a child from the crowd to stand on the apron while he took on the tag team 'The Bar' on his own.

Whilst it was all smiles and celebrations at the time, Louisiana Child Protective Services took a different view.  

"It was one thing to put a small child in the presence of a giant Irishman with a prominent crucifix around his neck - we all saw the movie Spotlight" Said LCPS spokesman Jonathon Miller "but then he put the child in the vicinity of Cesaro, a man so accident prone, anvils have been known to materialise out of thin air just to fall on him"  

Miller continued "and he might have got away with it too, but like most master criminals, he made one tiny mistake - to do it in front of a stadium crowd of 75,000 and a worldwide tv audience of millions.  It just goes to show, even the most brilliant criminals are not perfect"

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