Global Fears Over Rock as He Fails to Appear at 'Mania

Fears are growing for the safety and welfare of Dwayne 'Flex Kavana' Johnson, who did not make his regular "surprise" appearance at Wrestlemania this past Sunday.

Johnson, the former wrestler and star of such cinematic hits as The Tooth Fairy and San Andreas was expected to appear at the WWE flagship event in a 'surprise appearance', as he has done for as long as anyone can remember.

"I'm just so worried" said Evelyn Matchford, vice president of the Boise, Idaho chapter of The Rock's fanc lcub, and self proclaimed 'Rpckette for Life'.  "His unexpected appearances at Mania has become

He will probably be ok

so reliable, his missing one is like the sun not rising in the east every morning, or raw not being as boring as shit every week, it just isn't normal"

Authorities have appealed for help in locating the beloved star. If anyone has any information, the should call 1-800-STICK-IT-UP-YOUR-CANDY-A$$