Dolph Ziggler Claims He Is Victim of Smear Campaign

Ladies are steering clear of Ziggler for fear of being unable to keep up in the sack, meaning former Spirit Squad member is left to fish in the very small pool of endurance athletes, female MMA fighters and crazy bitches. The first two are hard to find in many mid-west towns on the regular WWE house show loop, and Dolph is getting desperate.

Perennial nearly-man Dolph Ziggler has claimed he is the victim of a smear campaign that is severely impacting his prospects.

Start stretching now ladies

“Ever since Amy Schumer said I was ‘too athletic’ in bed, I have been batting under 100, its a baaad situation”

Warning: May harm your sex life

Ziggler feels that women, with whom he previously would experienced a great deal of short term romantic success, are turning him down at an alarming rate, and it is Schumer to blame.
I need to clear my name, chicks have to know that I can be a lazym two pump chump in the sack. I’m serious, my nuts are like freakin’ concrete!”