Speaking to the Kingston Whig Standard (which we hope is some form of print-media and not an imaginary 
friend) recently, WWE legend and vegan, Daniel Bryan said that he suffered a breakdown after he was forced to retire. In a heartfelt confession, the former tag partner of Kane said
“I had to go out to Florida (to shoot Total Divas) and we're in John Cena's house for four weeks or whatever and there's cameras just on you all the time. I just had this horrible mental breakdown”
Fans across the nation reacted angrily by storming Sheamus’ house with pitchforks and flaming torches. Said Rosco Johnson, leader of the angry mb explained their actions.
“Sheamus has been responsible for all the bad things that happened to Bryan - he pinned him in 18 seconds at Wrestlemania, and then gave him the concussion that ended his career, so we just figured that whatever is up with Daniel, its Sheamus’ fault and wanted to get ahead of the game and attack his home, y’know, before any facts came out because they just get in the way”
Reports from the local police department that whilst his house was razed to the ground, Sheamus himself was unhurt as he was out of town, protecting his lucky charms
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