Ross on performance at Greatest Rumble "I wasn't drunk or stoned, I was bored shitless"

Oklahoma-Born announcer Jim Ross has hit back at fans who have claimed he sounded either drunk or stoned, or both at the Greatest Royal Rumble event in Dubai.

Pictured: Ross after taking a piss
for the first time in seven hours

"I can categorically state that I had imbibed neither alcohol or illegal substances at the event. Its the middle east for crying out loud, I would have been hung or shot or something"  said Ross in a press conference.

"I accept that my speech became somewhat slurred and my comments increasingly incoherent as the event went on, bit that was soley a result of my being bored shitless by an event that seemed like it was never going to end"

He continued "it was seven hours long!  I mean, WTF as the kids say.  I had to sit there through the whole damn thing. At least the audience got to get up and go to the concession stand, or have a nap and return for entrant number 40.  Frankly I think I deserve a medal for not turning to booze to get through it"

"By hour four, I was so bored I that started jamming a pen into my leg just to stay awake, and now I have sepsis from the ink getting into my bloodstream. Damn"