Kevin Owens Explains Why He Isn't on the WWE South American Tour

Former Universial Champion and noted pie enthusiast, Kevin Owens has spoken about the reasons he will not be on the WW's upcoming tour of South America.

Said Owens in an interview with ProWrestlingPoopScoop.com;

"There's a bunch of reasons really, I got a few injuries I need to heal, I want to spend some time with

This was the face he made

my kid, and there was little bit of erm, unpleasantness a few years ago. I don't wanna go into details but I was in Venezuela to get some of those super strength slimming pills because, well, look at me. Anyway, there was a bit of a miscommunication and I ended up being forced to carry two pounds of heroin across the US border, in my bunghole.  Problem was the slimming pills kicked in about 50 miles from the check point and, yada yada yada, if I ever show my face in Caracas again, they are gonna slice my nuts off. I like my nuts where they are"