Conor MacGregor Finally Signs Death Warrant

After months of hype and speculation, UFC supremo Dana White has confirmed that Conor MacGregor has signed his half of the deal for his mega-fight against unbeaten former welterweight boxing champion Floyd 'Money' Mayweather.

"We in the UFC are delighted that our number one draw, and, quite frankly, the only asset we have that makes IMG's $4bn investment even vaguely sensible, is going to risk his his future with the company, and by extension, the company's ability to stay afloat, by taking a fight with one of the greatest boxers in history who has never been beaten"

Pictured: A man whose $400m
fortune just got 'Madoffed'

White continued "I mean, it's not even a mixed match, he is doing a full boxing match for fucks sake! You don't fight a shark in the ocean,  a lion on the savannah or a nerd at Comic Con, it's just common sense!  I'm going to end up with 10% of sweet FA" At which point he broke down in tears.

Fans, on the other hand, to extremely excited about the prospect of the fight becoming a reality. Few give MacGregor a chance to win, or even make it out of the first round, but for many that is the appeal.

Literally humanity's only hope

Said Mitch Yazinsky, 26 from Boulder, Colorado - a long time UFC fan "Will I but it? Hell yeah, it's gonna be the biggest fight ever, plus, it's pretty much guaranteed that little Irish fucker will be utterly destroyed. That's worth $100 of anyone's money"

According to Yazinsky, there is only one drawback to the fight;

"If only there was some way we could see Mayweather get beaten to a pulp too, that would be worth
$200!  I don't know who could do it?  Maybe (Heavyweight Champion) Anthony Joshua or Optimus Prime, is Optimus Prime available?"